Tracing the steps of my life as it crosses the bridge from all about me to all about Jesus.

The Yearning

In my last post I talked about being in the home stretch of a 51 day waiting. I was excited and optimistic and I still am. My yearning has change. It has become such a deep longing it is almost painful. Tues the 12th seems now so far away even though it is closer then the post days ago.

I am convinced day-by-day that whatever is about to happen is bigger then I can imagine. It affects all most all areas of my life. I am dying waiting for the 51 days to be up. Literally dying. I am taken aback by how often I find the voice in my head speaking from the deep emotion in my gut saying. “More, more, more more of Christ, less of me. Whatever it takes for The Lord to do what He wills I am ready.”

3 Lents ago as I daily took communion and each day begged for all of me to die and Christ to take everything. I never dreamed I would be here. After loosing everything, The Holy Spirit molding and changing so much of who I was, giving up family and the city I love, choosing the Prince of Peace over my solutions and worry, how can it be there is not only still more in my soul that can be excavated and thrown out but that I long for it.

During this time 12 seemed like a turning point number so I have been reading all the 12th chapters in the Bible. Hebrews 12 has just grabbed me. I have been reading it over and over. The truth and comfort it overs flows over me.

This is The Message Version.

Do you see what this means—all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we’d better get on with it. Strip down, start running—and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we’re in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he’s there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls!

In this all-out match against sin, others have suffered far worse than you, to say nothing of what Jesus went through—all that bloodshed! So don’t feel sorry for yourselves. Or have you forgotten how good parents treat children, and that God regards you as his children?
My dear child, don’t shrug off God’s discipline,
but don’t be crushed by it either.
It’s the child he loves that he disciplines;
the child he embraces, he also corrects. God is educating you; that’s why you must never drop out. He’s treating you as dear children. This trouble you’re in isn’t punishment; it’s training, the normal experience of children. Only irresponsible parents leave children to fend for themselves. Would you prefer an irresponsible God? We respect our own parents for training and not spoiling us, so why not embrace God’s training so we can truly live? While we were children, our parents did what seemed best to them. But God is doing what is best for us, training us to live God’s holy best. At the time, discipline isn’t much fun. It always feels like it’s going against the grain. Later, of course, it pays off handsomely, for it’s the well-trained who find themselves mature in their relationship with God.
So don’t sit around on your hands! No more dragging your feet! Clear the path for long-distance runners so no one will trip and fall, so no one will step in a hole and sprain an ankle. Help each other out. And run for it!
Work at getting along with each other and with God. Otherwise you’ll never get so much as a glimpse of God. Make sure no one gets left out of God’s generosity. Keep a sharp eye out for weeds of bitter discontent. A thistle or two gone to seed can ruin a whole garden in no time. Watch out for the Esau syndrome: trading away God’s lifelong gift in order to satisfy a short-term appetite. You well know how Esau later regretted that impulsive act and wanted God’s blessing—but by then it was too late, tears or no tears.

Life changing big is about to happen: I am ready because I am in Christ and a daughter of The King!


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