Tracing the steps of my life as it crosses the bridge from all about me to all about Jesus.

What is wrong with me?

I pressed in for 51 days with Christ on a few different topics.  I fasted 3 earthly loves for the last 12 of those days as The Holy Spirit had asked me because I am willing to do anything for break through and change in these areas.   I firmly believe in the addage if you do the same thing, you won’t get different results.  I wanted GOD to show me what that different, next step thing is.

He did.

I am frozen.   I am scared.  I am unsure.  Instantly all these negative thoughts about myself come to the forefront of my brain.  Even as I here them echo though I am saying “that is not true, that is just stupid.” But here they are.  All still roaming in there.

I should be excited.  I should be happy.  I should be screaming from the rooftops.

I’m not

Because Christ isn’t giving it to me on a silver plater.  Receiving some of these good blessings requires me to lay down/give up ideas, feelings, and beliefs about myself and some situations that I am realizing are not truth.

Don’t get me wrong. I am expectant and excited at what might come out of this if I can take the first step.

I feel like Moses at the burning bush.  I have every excuse in the book, but GOD ain’t buying it.

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