The rain is falling in Tulsa and it is a dreary day. It fits into this Holy week day perfectly. Today is the day the disiples would have joined Jesus around the table. Today is the first time in History comunion would be celebrated. Today would be the day Jesus would wash the fit of the men who had followed him with total devotion for 3 years. Today would be the day that despite their devotion, one would be called out with their intent to betray.
Reading the account of the last super in Matt 26 we find that every one of the disiples asked “is it me?” I was struck by this.
As a follower of Christ spiritually I sometimes loose sight of the fact that even though I am called a co-heir, a new creation, and seated in Heavenly places I am tecnically a citizen of two worlds and the life I live here on earth offers a varity of options and distractions.
Naturally I confess my sins and strive to be a better person and walk everyday closer to Christ but rarely if ever do I take a look at the fassits of my life and ask “Is it me”
Tonight I had planned to have communion and spend time meditating on the meaning of what the next few days mean for my life and the world but instead I think I will ask “Is it me?”
What places in my life betray Christ? My job, my finances, my neglect for the poor, my neglect for those in my own community that are suffering and I don’t help, the people I simply discount because I don’t instantly gel with, my neighbors, my attitude to the lady checking out my gorcoeries? These are just the little ones.
What about the big “Is it me’s?” Do I submit every moment and ever decision to The Father? Do I love everyone the way Christ loves me? Do I go out and do greater miracles than this? Do pray without ceasing? Do I mourn with those who mourn and laugh with those who laugh? Do I go two miles with the person who asks me to go one? Do I go to the cross with my dreams and expectations? Do I trust GOD with my money and for provision? Do I do only what I see The Father do?
No I don’t do all those things all the time and each one is a betrayal to the person I claim to follow. I realize we are never perfect and there is grace. Thank GOD for grace.
There is something powerful spiritually in humbling ourselves enough to ask, even when we are pretty sure we aren’t (or at least are not intentionally) Is it me? and then listening for the honest answer.