I have a sever ulcer on my right eye.
Its a holiday weekend.
There is a bit of pain and it is hard to function with one eye (especially to make a blog post) but I wanted to document something I feel is very important.
I KNEW THIS WAS COMING. GOD told me. He wasn’t exact. I didn’t realize He had told me until I was on the phone with Chris Westhoff and she asked me “well how do you feel emotionally, this is a big hit” I didn’t really have an answer for her because in that moment I realized I’m fine. Irritated and in pain but fine. Over the last few days The Holy Spirit has been whispering to me “GOD is always good, make that the song of your heart”
I read a blog about seeing with our spiritual eyes rather then our physical ones that hit me so deep I now understand why I needed it.
I just listened to a podcast about how one small park of the body being injured can affect the rest of the body. I have noticed this now in the physical so much. The rest of my body is definitely affected.
Then there was a dream I had a few nights ago that I have been praying and sorting my way though. It was about the gifts of The Spirit and how being affected by something is sometimes necessarily so that we can experience the gift and then pass it on. For example. I now need healing. My faith in is Christ to do this. He will do it, though a miracle (which I prefer for the testimony and for the money and time it saves me.) or He will guide the Dr to make my eye well. Either way I have a story that claims the glory of Christ and the enemy can not take that from me. In turn I can use that experience to bridge the gap of faith for others.
Then on Fri morning as I prayed The Spirit told me. “no matter what happens in the days ahead, you can choose to walk in what you know about GOD or be driven by the emotions of the situation.”
I am in pain, I need healing. I don’t fully understand why this is happening. But what I do know is that GOD goes before me and cares so much that the warnings of some stress coming were there all along. There is no arguing it makes it easier to face when I can say I know GOD knows. If He is cool with this happening, I am cool with it. I pray it to end but I pray for His purpose.
These last few years have really given me new understanding of how Paul could say that he was fine in all situations. Sometimes I am shocked that so much rolls off my back now. I used to be such a drama queen, especially if I was the one being attacked. Now I just praise GOD, get though it the best I can, and tell Satan he’s an ass and isn’t going to win so he should just stop trying.
16-18So we’re not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There’s far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can’t see now will last forever.
2 Corinthians 4:17
The Message (MSG)
Sorry if the post seems choppy or typed bad. I am doing the one eye thing but I felt a great need to document this. Even if it is just for me.