Tracing the steps of my life as it crosses the bridge from all about me to all about Jesus.

What I love about following Christ is how the kingdom works.

In my last post I wrote about how I am struggling with the difference between what happens at the house church gatherings and what happens during Sunday church.  I am not upset, or mad or think of my Sunday church as bad. I just know there is a difference and I want to understand.

My disappointment roots from a word and vision I recieved many years ago about my church.  I have been waiting and praying into what I saw happening and it includes great moves of The Spirit.   It started to happen a few months ago.  I was so excited I was sure the wave was the beginning of an ocean.  But it wasn’t.  We are back to talking about basic things.   Back to saying quick basic prayers.   Back to the worship that contains the predetermined number of songs so that it is all timed right.

Back to OUR set schedual of church.

This hurt my heart.  It is a pain that drives to my gut.  I want Jesus.  I want to see His glory.  I know everyone else in the seats does too.  So whats the problem?  What are we scared of?

These are the disappointments and struggles in my head.   As I pondered and struggled with these questions I also skipped church.   I just felt I could not do it.  I missed one week, my eye kept me from the next.  The third week I could have gone but used my eye as a reason to not but really it was because playing church doesn’t appeal to me.

Laying all this out before GOD is when the Holy smack down descended.  “If I have given you a word, and your part of the word, a root of the word, a catalist,  how can’t you think change and Spirit filled encounters will happen if your not there?”

OUCH!   I can’t believe GOD just did that.  He totally turned it around on me.  You know those moments when GOD gets you.  You know He is right and it even brings the situation into clear vision but still you are like, dang that hurt.

So laying down my bruised ego I confessed my sin of laziness and for not living out my part of the word I was so earnestly praying for.   Then I went to church yesterday.


GOD showed up for me in an amazing way.   Pastor Mark was on fire.   The Holy Spirit was speaking through him. He said “GOD has not forgotten His promises to you”   BOOM it hit me.  Somehow I just knew I was about to see part of His promise happen then and there.  Praising GOD for touching people and blessing me with a Spirit inspired service.   Next thing I know Mark is talking about eyes needing healing and The Holy Spirit says “go now, share your story, your story is the testimony that brings faith for others healing”.  Before I could even process what was spoken to me I was already down in front telling Pastor Roger I wanted to share about my eye.  No questions from Roger just a YES!.   I shared and don’t even really know what I said.   I think I probably talked to fast for anyone to get the story.   I hope they got it,  I trust GOD was in control.

Then Mark asked me to stay and said a few words and then asked me to pray.    Again I started to speak and thank the Lord and next thing I know I have no idea what I prayed.   All I know is that I felt such a presence.

As the day went on I was so blessed by people after the service, FB messages, texts, and calls about the healing and what GOD did in the service I was especially blown away by what people shared with me what was happening while I was praying.  How anointed it was and such.    I am grateful to GOD.  Non of that was me, it was totally Him!

I am blown away and humbled by yesterdays experience.  Isn’t It just like our GOD.    Not only do I know He healed people Sunday, He met them in their need.   Even after my struggles He blessed me by using me during the service to be the catalyst He has said I was.  Even better He did it in such a whirlwind, wonderful way that I was encouraged of Christ in me.  It is His living Spirit living inside of us that brings heaven to earth and changes our world.

I will continue to pray into the promises that GOD has given me.  I believe this is a deeper step that came from deciding to keep my book of promises and meditate on them everyday.

If GOD has given you words and promises I can’t express enough that writing them down in a specific place and continuing to return to them and reading them and praying about them changes everything.


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