Lent has been very different then the last few for me. This one feels more encouraging. Being with Jesus in our secret place has been one of my favorite times of the day for years but these last 30+ days it has taken on new depth. I feel He is wooing me, beckoning me to rest in Him. The Holy Spirit is also teaching me that The Yoke of Christ is easy.
I can’t lie, sometimes following Christ seems hard to me. I have laid so much down to follow Him. Many times it isn’t easy at first. It starts as a my will/His will battle. Then it is reluctant surrender. Tulsa is a perfect example. I left everything and came here. GOD had made it obvious that I was to be here. Almost 11 years later, with a brief return to Seattle, I am just finally calling it home. Now that I am settled in here, the yoke of it has become easy. I have great friends, some of the best friends of my life. I am part of a bigger family at Believer’s Church and am thankful to do life together with them. I have house church which is very family and full of people who are daily in relationship with Christ. I don’t think I would have found this easy yolk if not for HC.
This idea of easiness is on my mind because I am currently in a situation where GOD had told me to contact someone and offer to help. “Always say yes and give all time you have” was what He told me. I was reluctant to contact this person because we were more acquaintances then friends. I remember telling GOD, “I’ll do it, but they are going to think I am nuts, invading like this, they might not even like that idea”
I will skip all the details but what I really want to express is my gratefulness. GOD’s grace has been over this situation. I worried that I would not be as helpful as they needed. Part of it is helping with home school and I was really biting my nails on that one. I am a theatre person, not a math and latin person. I am good at hang out and I like educational art and fun but nose to the grindstone, what if I ruined these kids education? What if the kids, who knew me a little, hated me? Worse, what if I just didn’t like them? DISCLAIMER: I know most of you think I love all kids, but that is just not true, there are some brats out there. 🙂
Of course not only did none of my fears even kind of happen, I can say the day I go over there is one of my favorite each week. The kids are wonderful, they have won my heart. My acquaintance has now turned friend, I am very thankful for that. It has been tough for the family and I know it is had for them to see, but I see GOD’s love and grace all over them and what they are walking though. I am so honored that Christ would ask me to be part of walking that with them. It is an honor to know them. It is an honor to join others and pray and support them when the days are hard. Mostly, it is just so stinking easy. I don’t know that it should be. In the natural world it shouldn’t but because I am in obedience and I am not in obedience with a bad attitude, The Holy Spirit takes care of it all.
Looking back, I laugh at my fears and part of my thankfulness is that I walked in what GOD called me too, regardless of my fears. This morning I realized I had been though this with another family a few years back. They were a mess. A bigger mess then I could tell and it is not my place to share their story. Not only did I fall in love with 3 kids then, I got a best friend out of the deal. Plus along the way, there were so many times I needed them and they helped me. AND once I started, it was so easy.
I know The Holy Spirit has been teaching me this lesson for a while but I didn’t fully grasp it until a few days ago. When I made a commitment that I just didn’t want to do, GOD didn’t tell me to do it, but I just wanted to help. Now don’t get me wrong, I think the Bible is clear that we need to love others and so I don’t feel I was wrong to say yes. However, the easy yolk was not there. This was a kid-sitting situation that would also be continual. I had to tell the family I could not do it. It was just too much. I was feeling very guilty about turning them down while at the same time so easily helping others. This morning with it still on my mind I lay in bed talking to Jesus about it. I just felt so bad. “I have a plan for you, and for them” He said. “My yoke only fits, guides and produces fruit when it fits right by My design,”
Those words from The Lord this morning turned my guilt into rejoicing. It took my understanding and my thankfulness to a new level. I am sure my life would be enriched by any family or situation that Jesus called me too but right now I am thankful, So thankful that He called me to my current family, my best friends family, and my house church family. I am learning that it is not just time and the ability to serve that I can give. I am realizing, I have many gifts, talents, skills and that who GOD created me is a gift. I am learning, again and deeper, it isn’t about what I can do or offer it is about who I am in Christ that matters.
Once again I am blown away by Him. Blown away by His Mercy.