I was watching SNL when I felt that voice in my spirit.
“I want to talk to you”.
I believe that GOD wants to spend time with all of us. I believe He longs for it. But most of the time I feel He is there patiently waiting for us to start the conversation. His love is so great He waits. Longingly waits.
Tonight GOD started the coverstion.
GOD! The creator of the universe asked me if we could talk! I was humbled in a breath. I turned off the TV. Grabbed my Bible and Journal and sat on the floor. I didn’t know what He wanted to say but I was going to be prepared. Once on the floor I felt He just wanted us to love on each other. I grabbed my I-pod, scrolled though the menu until I found my playlist tilted “Like A Song” this playlist contains all the songs that speak the love of Christ to me and the songs that lavish my love on Christ that I wish I could have put into words. (Thankful for writers gifts of expression where mine fails)
Then it happened. Heven fell or I rose up or I don’t even know really. I was somewhere else. I felt joy yet I could not stop crying. I felt victory yet it tasted like war. I felt love so tangible that I thought my body was going to explode yet I was nothing at the same time.
Caught up in the spirit a hand came out of no where and touched my head. I can’t even describe what it felt like. No words for the glory. Then I heard it.
I TRUST YOU! I trust you not with a trust that is safe because of grace. I trust you because you have given Me all.
I started bawling again as I typed that last statement. It is so overwhelming. I have prayed and prayed. I want to be trusted with The Kigdom like Paul, Peter and others. I want to see live and the world changed by love, not by law or condemnation. I want to see the true fruit of The Spirit everywhere I look. I want all that Christ died for, not just heaven.
This is what I want to see all around me. NOW, not in heaven.
I want relationships. I want healing. I want freedom, I want the wealth of the wicked to be in the hands of the righteous. I want Spirit filled, hear from GOD people in close relationship and praying with and for our leaders. I want babies GOD fashioned to not be stolen by the enemy before they can even be born. I want to see the church turn into The Bride. I want to see the Holy Spirit fall like litteral rain, indoors. I want The Bride to be known more for what we are for then what we are against. I want fear to die. I want church controlled worship services to die, and they will right behind fear. I want to see someone rise from the dead. I want to see resources like food and water able to feed thousands when it start as only a loaf and a bottle. I want to see Christians fall in love with Jesus. I want Christians to know they are great, GOD made them with a purpose.
I want a lot and after tonight I feel confidant in asking for it.
Because GOD trusts me.
He trusts me because He knows my heart is His. Because it is His, He can place all the desires above into the treads of my being and I will fight on earth for it to he here as it is in heaven.
I just have to say it again because I am so giddy. THE CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE ASKED ME TO TALK!!!!!! THE BEGINNING AND THE END WANTED TO BE WITH ME. HE COULD HAVE SEEKED OUT ANYONE (and may have been at the same time, I get GOD is everywhere and able to muti-task) IT IS JUST BLOWING MY MIND. IT FEELS SO DIFFERENT THEN ANY OTHER TIME I HAVE BEEN WITH HIM. I am sorry if I can’t convoy exactly what I am feeling spiritually. I guess I could say it felt like being one of the 3 out of 12 to go to the Mt with Jesus. I knew in the moment He could have picked others but He picked me.
Tonight was the most humbling experience of my life so far. I just sat there, on my knees in silence after I felt back in this reality, for a long time. How can you rise when not just a king but Thee King bestows such an honor.